Does Christian dating make you anxious?
Are you one of the millions of Christian singles who experience some form of anxiety or nervousness when it comes to Christian dating? Perhaps you are newly single, as a result of a divorceand seek to understand what the Bible says about divorce, dating and remarriage. Maybe you have never been married and are holding out for “the one” who God has prepared for you….and wondering “when is God going to send that person to me?”.
Take a moment and ask yourself what feelings come up when you think about dating as a Christian? When I’ve asked that question to hundreds of Christian singles in the workshops I’ve led over the last 10 years, I usually get these answers:
- Fear
- Anxiety
- Excitement
- Caution
- Joy
- Anticipation
- Dread
- Disappointment
- Heartache
You might notice that most of these are negative fear-based feelings than positive, joyful emotions. It’s not supposed to be that way. God never intended our dating experiences to bring up so much anxiety and fear.
What does scripture teach us about being anxious or fearful?
“Do not be anxious over anything, but in everything by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”
(Philippians 4:6-7)
Does this apply to dating? When the scripture says, “Do not be anxious about
ANYTHING..”, doesn’t that cover dating too? I don’t believe God ever wanted us to approach dating with so much anxiety and trepidation. What I’ve found in my practice, and personal life, is that when we do not know how to do something effectively or successfully, we become anxious, frustrated, and discouraged and can give up. So we are hesitant and afraid of trying again, since we don’t want to be hurt and fail again.
But there is hope. If you feel that God has planted within you the seed of a desire to be in a committed healthy relationship, perhaps leading to a God-centered marriage, He wants you to be encouraged and “press on”, as Paul says in Philippians 3:13-15,
Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I presson toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.”
We need a strategy and a roadmap to press forward toward the goal. If your dating
strategy is based on what God desires for you and your purpose is rooted in scripture and doing His will for you and your dating partner, He will bless your efforts. If you approach dating as a way of deepening your relationship with God and serving him more fully, as a result of your relationship, Christian dating can become an exciting adventure. It’s inspiring and powerful to have God is on your dating team!
When you take a trip toward a destination, and don’t have roadmap of how to get there, the probability of arriving at your desired destination is low and your anxiety will probably be high. The same applies to Christian dating. If you approach dating as a random sequence of events, leading to a goal of finding Mr. or Miss Right, you are leaving a lot to chance and creating a lot of unnecessary worry. I can help you to design your own personal roadmap tosafely navigate the Christian dating journey with joy and confidence!